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For Parents ... It has been a tough week for Mr. ESPN and me. Miss Chatty has had less than stellar behavior at Boys and Girls Club (BGC). I got a call on Tuesday afternoon that she had "hit" one of the staff. Apparently she "hit" the staff on her arm (per Chatty to get her attention to tell her something). The staff explained why it was wrong and asked her not to do it again. A short while later when they were in the gym, Chatty ran over to her and basically "tackled" the same staff member while she was crouched down speaking to another child. Since this was her second incident that afternoon she was escorted to the director's office for "time out" and on the way there Chatty screamed "No" and hit the staff on the arm. What do you say to the director when they call to tell you something like that? I was shocked and upset and a lot of other things. I assured the Director we would address the issue with Chatty and to please let me know if anything else happened. She was very nice about the whole thing but still I was mortified.
Mr. ESPN and I spoke with Chatty about it and strictly informed her she is to keep her hands to herself at all times - no touching anyone! So do you think it worked - ummm NO! Yesterday I get home and Mr. ESPN tells me Chatty pushed a kid and he hit his head on the wall (he was fine). She claimed she was pushed first. While I want to believe her, I am having a hard time because she tends to fabricate lie some of her stories. So I explained to her that if someone pushes you then you tell them not to and walk away. If they do it again then you tell the staff. If she has one more incident she will have the equivalent of in BGC suspension, the one after that out of BGC suspension (similar to in school and out of school suspension). What the heck is going on her in head? I tried to convey the seriousness of her actions to her last night and this morning and told her how much I love her but that I am disappointed in her behavior choices. I feel like I keep saying the same old thing and it isn't working. We have taken away pretty much everything for a week (Wii, stuffed animals, blankies, books, you name it) and she will be missing a birthday party this weekend. I just don't know where to go from here.
After dropping Chatty off this morning I kept thinking what are we doing wrong - is she going to be one of those kids with issues and appears on America's Most Wanted someday? Is it because I work outside the home and don't spend enough time with her (if I was home full time I am sure she would have other issues)? While I sincerely think she is old enough to understand the consequences for the decisions she makes I still can't help but feel partially fully responsible. No one told me Kindergarten was going to be this tough!
8 comments:
I'm sure it's just growing pains? I don't have kiddos yet.. maybe research doing some sort of behavior chart?? meaning if she can stay out of trouble, etc..etc.. she'll be rewarded with something she really wants to do.
Such as ...go roller skating with a friend, etc..etc..
Again, not much experience but it's something I've heard a few of my co-workers doing here at the bank and it's worked.
Oh, we've been there. You'll get through it......hang in there!
I'm not looking forward to these days at all. I know it must be hard! Good luck. Sounds like you guys are handling the situation perfectly!
C - It sounds to me from other posts that she is VERY well behaved at school - in her K class. So, it would certainly make sense at this age that once she is out of that very structured setting and at BGC, that she is just feeling a little wilder and that is normal. Keep it up with the punishment and rewards and it will sink in. She has always done so well in structured situations - is BGC more free time - or structured activities? Hang in there! It is not just you, and even though you feel bad, you are doing a great job!
Oh, you sound so distressed. Don't begin to doubt or blame yourself. Obviously, I can't talk like I know, but I'm sure it's a phase. Chatty is a head-strong girl, and this is how she asserts herself. I had my own freaking time-out chair in kindergarten. She just needs to learn how to deal with her intense moments. Keep up with positive reinforcement for good behavior and taking things for bad behavior. She'll get it.
Are Chatty and Lainy secret friends? Sounds suspiciously similar. She would throw major fits when she didn't get her way (much like home) and was aggressive toward other kids. She's basically a little Tony. Major opinions and wants EVERYONE to know about them and respect them. Or you'll get hit.
She's doing better now, but we've REALLY had to enforce at home. We do a behavior chart (stickers for good behavior, once stickers fill chart she gets a Webkinz).
That's rough, thinkin about you! You'll get through it.
I feel for ya, girl! And let me tell you her behavior has nothing to do with you working full time! We're having some issues with DJB! Yes, DJB! I really can't picture Chatty hitting or tackling out of anger. Was she just being silly? Like everyone else said, I'm sure it's just a phase and this too shall pass! You are an awesome mom and don't doubt it! Love ya!
I think we all think like this. You are doing fine, Chatty is just "spirited" and "spirited" kids are the best.
And hardest.
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