Sunday, February 28, 2010


So this morning I bribed the girls in order to get some cute pictures.  I wanted some pictures of them for their birthday party invitations (and because I haven't taken any in awhile), so the nice mom I am I told them that unless they complied with my mini photo shoot that they would not have a birthday party.  Yeah they don't know we already paid the $50 deposit for the place and we are contractually obliged to have it at the railroad park already (they had a sweet - cheap deal) .. we'll stick to the "Need to Know" theory around here and as far as Mr. ESPN and I are concerned, they don't need to know that information.  Hope you are having a good weekend.  Chatty and I are trying to kick our colds! 

Below are the results of my bribe ....

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Boobies, Farts and Church Ladies

That title sounds like a skit from SNL ...if only my life was that funny or interesting. A whole lot of nothing to blog about - busy at work and think I am getting a cold so have been going to bed early the last two nights. Last night after Bia got in her monkey pjs she looked at me and said "Wanna Cuddle Momma?" - she is such a cuddlebug and I love it. Sure beats the comment she had at Target while we were shopping last weekend "Look Mommy - Boobies" (pointing to the bras) ... she continued to repeat this phrase over and over .... Apparently she did this when she was shopping with Mr. ESPN in Costco and they saw the sports bras.

Bia's comment wasn't as bad as the one Chatty had all weekend, "Who farted?" Of course this was followed by lots of laughter by Chatty! See potty humor isn't limited to boys!

Yesterday in the snack area at work I went to open a canister to see what someone had brought in to share. As I pulled the lid off the bottom half slid off the table and all of the cookies flew on the ground.  Two guys sitting in a cube across from me saw the whole thing and made some comment to me. It was like the Diet Police were telling me "No Cookies for You!" I was a little embarrassed but it was funny and honestly they didn't look that great ... my homemade ones look (and probably taste) better.

I am supposed to have a girl’s night with the "Church Ladies" aka young moms at church. I was really nervous the first time I went out with them ... were they laid back, do they drink, do they only talk about church, are they like me? Needless to say I had a great time with them last month and am looking forward to this month if I am not sick (two of them are prego plus we all have kids so I don't want to spread anything). We are all supposed to bring a heavy appetizer. I want to bring the antipasto sticks that I think Coco blogged about. I e-mailed her to see if you would send me the recipe. BMB - don't you have a recipe for something like this too? Can you send it to me and I can compare them?

Monday, February 22, 2010

What I Learned in Kindergarten

Last Friday I was scheduled to volunteer in Chatty's classroom.  As soon as I walked in the room I could tell something wasn't right ... and then I got the news from one of the students ... "We have a visiting teacher today" (I guess they don't call them substitutes anymore).  Needless to say it was chaotic when I walked in ... the boys were all over the place and no one was listening to the "Visiting Teacher".  She had no control over the class and looked so relieved when I walked in.  The sad part was the whole time I was there she kind of looked to me to lead the class.  So being the Type A person I am I did just that.  When they wouldn't listen to the "Visiting Teacher's" instructions, I threatened to escort them to Dr. B's (the principal) office.  One kid said "All of us?" and I responded by saying "If that's what it takes" ... they settled down a little bit after that.  In the course of the 90 minutes I was there, I put two boys in STEP (timeout), one of which was the Mr. X who Chatty is no longer allowed to play with.  The little punk told me I was mean when I put him in STEP for kneeing another boy.  Further confirmation as to why Chatty will NEVER be allowed to play with him.   

Some other observations:
  • One little boy went to the bathroom and was in there for quite a while.  When he came out he sighed and said "Man I feel better now" (mimicking his father I am sure).  I felt bad for the little girl who had to go in after him. 
  • A couple boys in Chatty's class have longer hair than her. 
  • One boy said to me "I get to go to The Turks and Caicos for my birthday" - umm what?  Yep that's right he is going on a nice little Caribbean trip with his family for his 6th birthday (aka family vacation).  Yes I am a little lot jealous.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Crappy Call and Better Things

All morning I kept thinking I need to post something and had nothing ... until I got the crappy call from a crappy customer!  I am PO'd and a little ready to cry - all at the same time.  So excuse this rant of a post.  This guy railed on me for 10 minutes and proceeded to tell me our tax process is flawed that we HAVE to refund him the sales tax we collected from his company for the past few years and that no statute of limitations exists between a customer and a vendor.  While this probably make zero sense to anyone reading this (except the Kingston Queen) let me just say this man is an idiot and he is wrong and I am MAD!  Ugh - I hate that some people (especially a lot of arrogant men who work in TAX) think they know everything and can be so rude and demoralizing.  It is one of the reasons why I left my old job! 

On to better things ... my kids are super funny.  Bia has been celebrating Valentine's (Balentine as she calls it) Day all week ... I think she thinks it is everyday now since we still have candy.  Chatty told her Nana and Poppa on the phone last night she loved them so much she wished they could never die - cute and a little morbid all at the same time!  Chatty loves watching the Olympics but if you ask her what her favorite sport is in the games she says "swimming and soccer" - she hasn't figured out the difference between the summer and winter games - what do you expect she was born in the desert!  And super good news a former co-worker had twin boys early this morning - Devin (7lbs 11 oz) and Keegan (7lbs 15oz) - that's a lot of baby to deliver in one morning!  So happy for them.

Here's to a better afternoon .... and no more crappy calls!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Vegas Baby and Some Love for our favorite Clementine!

I went to Vegas to celebrate my Aunt's 60th birthday.  It was my friend Amy's birthday too so I asked her to join me for the celebration.  My aunt and 13 other ladies flew in from Florida.  We had a good time ... lots of laughs ... lots of food ... lots of drinks!  My aunt's friend brought a DVD of her 40th birthday party ... four of my aunt's friends that were in Vegas were at the 40th birthday too ... so funny watching them dance on the video and checking out their outfits and hairdos from 1990!  Good times. 

One woman from our group may or may not have had a little too much to drink and started harassing a young guy giving my aunt tips on how to play video black jack in the casino.  The guy said he was in Vegas for a work convention and acted like he was a big shot businessman.  By the time this woman was done with him we found out he wasn't a big shot businessman but only a salesman for a small company and worked out of his home.  To top it off his wife was home with their young child and was due any day with their second child.  Needless to say the woman in our group may or may not have harassed him even more for being in Vegas (thousands of miles from his home) and not being home with his wife!

BTW - did you know they now have girls dancing on the tables in a lot of the casinos (in skimpy outfits)?  Not sure if this was a "Superbowl Weekend Special" or not but they were in every single casino.  Kind of felt like I walked into a strip club!

To something important ... I purchased a shirt in honor of Casey's sister (see the post here). Such a great cause - sure glad they ship to the desert! I have been meaning to post a picture of me in it but thought Chatty might make a cuter pic so she was my model!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Say Hey ... I love You, I love You, I Love You

The girls and I love the song "Sey Hey" by Michael Franti.  Mr. ESPN played it on the computer the other day and the girls really got into it (they love to move wildly dance) ... next time I will have to try making a video ... they were pretty funny.  I think Chatty even channeled some 80's break dancing moves!  BTW - Chatty's behavior has improved since her second incident ... hopefully this was yet another phase.  Have a great weekend ... I am heading to Vegas!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Kindergarten is TOUGH!

For Parents ... It has been a tough week for Mr. ESPN and me.  Miss Chatty has had less than stellar behavior at Boys and Girls Club (BGC).  I got a call on Tuesday afternoon that she had "hit" one of the staff.  Apparently she "hit" the staff on her arm (per Chatty to get her attention to tell her something).  The staff explained why it was wrong and asked her not to do it again.  A short while later when they were in the gym, Chatty ran over to her and basically "tackled" the same staff member while she was crouched down speaking to another child.  Since this was her second incident that afternoon she was escorted to the director's office for "time out" and on the way there Chatty screamed "No" and hit the staff on the arm.  What do you say to the director when they call to tell you something like that?  I was shocked and upset and a lot of other things.  I assured the Director we would address the issue with Chatty and to please let me know if anything else happened.  She was very nice about the whole thing but still I was mortified.

Mr. ESPN and I spoke with Chatty about it and strictly informed her she is to keep her hands to herself at all times - no touching anyone!  So do you think it worked - ummm NO!  Yesterday I get home and Mr. ESPN tells me Chatty pushed a kid and he hit his head on the wall (he was fine).  She claimed she was pushed first.  While I want to believe her, I am having a hard time because she tends to fabricate lie some of her stories.  So I explained to her that if someone pushes you then you tell them not to and walk away.  If they do it again then you tell the staff.  If she has one more incident she will have the equivalent of in BGC suspension, the one after that out of BGC suspension (similar to in school and out of school suspension).  What the heck is going on her in head?  I tried to convey the seriousness of her actions to her last night and this morning and told her how much I love her but that I am disappointed in her behavior choices.  I feel like I keep saying the same old thing and it isn't working.  We have taken away pretty much everything for a week (Wii, stuffed animals, blankies, books, you name it) and she will be missing a birthday party this weekend.  I just don't know where to go from here.

After dropping Chatty off this morning I kept thinking what are we doing wrong - is she going to be one of those kids with issues and appears on America's Most Wanted someday?  Is it because I work outside the home and don't spend enough time with her (if I was home full time I am sure she would have other issues)?  While I sincerely think she is old enough to understand the consequences for the decisions she makes I still can't help but feel partially fully responsible.  No one told me Kindergarten was going to be this tough!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Wild Animals

Saturday Bia had a birthday party at the zoo.  In order to get to our zoo you have to go through a not so great area of town.  A couple things I noticed during this little venture to that part of town:
  • "Inventory Adjusters" is the new name for Pawn Shop just in case you were wondering
  • Rent to Own Rims/Wheels - yes you got it - they have stores where you can rent to own wheels and/or rims.  So in case you have some friends coming to town and you want them to think you have sweet wheels and rims, you can rent some while they are visiting.  Genius I tell you!
Chatty and Mr. ESPN met us at the zoo after her soccer game.  The kids really enjoyed it and for the most part were behaved!  All in all it was a success.  Below are some pics of my wild animals:

The whole birthday party gang

Bia and her favorite boy ...
Eyeing the cake - just like her momma - loves sweets
A hug for the birthday girl
My little monkeys hanging with the baboons
The girls looking for trouble!

Riding the "horsey ride" (per Bia)
The "horsey ride" with Daddy